i just wanted to say....

Happy Birthday Daddy i love you, and i miss you, but i know that you are yup there watching over me. i hope that you have a great birthday and if i score a goal at my game its going to be for you...maybe i can bend it like beckham again...just for u =)



HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!! I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH

you make me feel little

i would just like to ask you a question before i begin:
DO I HAVE THE WORD MAKE FUN OF ME ON MY FACE??

i was just wondering because i didn't think i did. but why do people feel the need to make fun of everything i do?? Its getting old.
I am really getting sick of just taking your shit and not even sticking up for myself i have trouble doing that i have had trouble doing that since i was little.
I am really sick of people not believing in me, seriously if you don't like what i am doing tell me once don't remind me every time you see me. Like i don't get why everyone cares that i don't eat meat anymore serious just worry about your life if i die it then its my fault. you don't need to stick pizza in my face that has meat on it seriously are we 2 or maybe its cause you so fucking spoiled that you never were told that you do things wrong because YOU do. just because the rest of the room didn't stick up for me and just sat there and laugh doesn't mean it was a good idea. And for of you people that didn't think it was going to last a week well guess what its been a week and now you can shut you mouth and get a life. i don't think me not eating meat has anything to do with me being stupid so unless i did anything to you then i don't think you have the right to call me stupid..i though that i had true friends at school but i guess i don't cause if you were a true Friend or for that matter a true boyfriend you wouldn't doubt what i do. But thank god i have one person that believe that i can do it. thanks, And for everyone information i wanted to do this on my own other people didn't influence me to not eat meat. My WHOLE life i have been picked on and seriously who gives a shit that i am shy and quite like seriously why is it such a big deal. Why do i have to prove people wrong why can't you just believe in me. It hurts when people don't believe in me. People wonder why i never have confidence in myself. while its because my WHOLE life no one EVER believed in me. Once i found that one person Believe in me enough and told me that i should prove everyone wrong and go to college.....then they got taken away. i just want to say thanks to this one person because if it wasn't for them i wouldn't be getting somewhere in life and doing well in college or in college at that matter. I thank god that this person is in my life and this person will NEVER be forgotten. Now that i have made it into college and have a GPA of 3.10 now i need to prove to one of my professor that this semester i can keep my GPA up because apparently because i don't have him for a professor this semester that my GPA is going to go down. Its going to be hard because i have four hard classes and a job now but i think that i can do it, for once does anyone believe that i can do it??

Side Note: if anyone decides making fun of me is a good idea. just warning you, i am done being nice.

If you believe in me i can do some pretty cool things for Example last night at my game people wanted to see me bend the ball into the goal on a corner kick.
well Lady's and Gentlemen.......................I BENT IT LIKE BECKHAM!! =)

the things i dread

well first off i don't really want to go back to school..but Jen made a good point today that i have wed and Fridays off and i can come home whenever i want to....good thing that i have ppl at home that would welcome me home anytime and love me...i have Megan at school which is a good thing cuz if i didn't i don't know what would happen. but i guess one more semester and then i am done with Mitchell. Then CCSU!!

i don't know why but for the past couple days i have been mad/ sad and i don't even know why.. i should be happy because things are some what back to normal..

i really do dread going to the doctor which i might have to if i can't move my left arm over my head in a couple days...but i am trying to tough it out because when i get hurt everyone makes a big deal out of it and it just pisses me off like i told my mom we only live ones and if i die snowboarding at least i die doing something fun and die while with someone close to me and being happy. I really hate being unhappy because i know that there are people out in the world that have it a thousand time worse then i do.

i have been thinking a lot lately about almost everything....and its eats me away cuz my thinking goes into my sleeping, i have nightmares and wake up a thousand times a night. i just want to have one night where i sleep through the night...

on a happy note:
a week from Friday is my daddy's b-day!!
i am getting contacts =)
i love snowboarding!!
i have a job even tho its not many hours but its money right?
we have a soccer game Friday YAY!! i love soccer

side note: i went snowboarding for my first time on Sunday and i had so much fun i got a Lil hurt but nothing Advil can't fix, it was worth it and i def want to go again..(thanks Big Sis you are great teacher.)

well its bed time i have to get up and do stuff tomorrow and then go back to school but on the bright side i will be back for my soccer game on Friday..

smile

I am the happiest person right now and i have the biggest smile on my face and it feels amazing...i just thought everyone would like to know =)

now back to studying for my exam that i have tomarrow

also i would like to point out that chris's b-day is on friday Yay!