things to think about

i have been thinking lately how people change.....

some change for the good and others for the worse.
some people need others to help them through stuff.
some people might even to take medication to help them be happy.
but whatever you do if you change.
don't change for no one but yourself.

what people do when they get mad
some people drink there problems away.
some people punch things.
some people cut themselves till they bleed.
some people go for walks or even drive.

most of these are not healthy things to do when you get mad but sometimes people can't control the way they act when they get mad.

always remember if you do something that someone doesn't want you to do and you know that the person is not happy with you because they give you the look of disappointment. this look plays over in you head because you have disappointed people your whole life that the look is something that you have seen before but when you disappoint a person that is close to you it not easy getting the trust back. you wait for the person to walk away or leave the room and you just lose it. the tears fall like rain.

its not easy to know that is some ways you can be selfish and you never thought of it that way until someone brings it up. you try to brush it off and tell yourself the past is the past. you sit there in silence wondering how you can speak a word knowing that this person doesn't like something about you. something that you might not be able to control. and yet again you wait for them to leave so you can let your tears fall knowing that your a disappointment.

i was told today that if i wasn't a pain then someone wouldn't be here, i don't think that i was ever told that me being annoying can be a good thing sometimes.

so i have come to realize something today and for a while there are people that i throw my life into there hands and they listen to me bitch and wine. but i don't think that they feel like they can do that with me?? i am hoping that sooner or later i won't have to dump my issues on people and then i can the person that they can lean on. i want to go back to the good listener i used to be.

i am working on not letting people walk all over me and for the most part things are getting a lil better and i think some people notice a good changed in me..hopefully there will be more in the past..

well peace out i am going to nighty night