what if tomarrow never comes?

so i haven't posted anything in awhile i have been writing things on here but not posting cuz it was to personal and no one read these anyways.

so i got into a car accident about two weeks ago so i haven't had a car since the accdient. i mean i can drive my moms vans so i still have a way to get around cuz my mom had surgery so she can't drive anyways but it not my jeep. i really miss my jeep. i haven't really had my jeep to long it just sucks that it had to happen to my jeep. well i was lucky that i had my jeep cuz if i still had my car i don't think that i wouold be here or hurt really bad. well everyone keeps telling me that i was lucky to walk away for it and that the tire on the back of my jeep saved me. well yes i was able to walk away with a nasty bruse and a couple scraps and wipelash. well now i have headaches that suck and i am getting a ct scan tuesday to find out why i get them. i will be really upset if whatever it is stops me from going on vacation with megan and i really hope that its not serious and i just want these pains to go away. i am not going to lie i am kinda scared. what keeps running through my head is what if i am not here tomarrow?? or this make me paralized if its not taken care of. right now is stopping me from doing what i like to do. i can't work to much or i am in serious pain. i can't ride my bike or run without it hurting FML. well i have been waiting for this vaction with megan for months now i am counting down the days. it would be nice to get away for a little while and nice to see megan. its been a rough couple a weeks. my mom had surgery on july first and it been hell cuz i have to do everything around the house and no one helps me. i try to do one thing and then someone yell come do this and do that. sometimes i want to sream i am one person i am no super hero i can't be in 5 places at once. there have been times where i just wanted to break down and start crying, but i can't. i don't understand why poeple in this house can't do thing on thier own. sometime i wish i was dead so that they couldn't ask me to do everything for them. i want to go back to school so that i can get away but i don't want to have to deal with peoples shit excpet for the people that give back what i give them. i really need to get a job..i work with my brother but i don't work as much as i would like to my brother got me a job of watering this ladys flower and i do it every other day and i get $10 a day with i guess is alittle money but i think i am going to need to get another job cuz i am getting low on money. maybe i can get a babysitting job or make i can work at night at a store or a resturant. i am going to need to find a job at school also. this fall is going to be hell cuz i am taking 18 credits and running xc and try and get a job and still have time with freinds and my b/f and do rugby when i can. speacking of xc i want to be really good this year but i am getting so discurged cuz i can't run with my neck. plau when i am ok to run i can't run that far. the only thing that i am really proud of that i have been doing is riding my bike and going a good amount of miles.